Do It Yourself (DIY) Play Therapy
Do It Yourself (DIY) Play Therapy
Parents often struggle to connect with their children, especially when emotional needs or behaviors become overwhelming. While play therapy can be helpful, it might not always be accessible or affordable. The good news is that you may already be the key to supporting your child's emotional and behavioral development—by becoming a more attuned version of yourself.
Here is some theoretical background from the 1940s onward addressing the development of non-directive play therapy approaches used by therapists and supporting the use of non-directive play with your child:
Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT)
Developed in the 1940s, Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) uses play as a tool for children to express emotions, process experiences, and develop coping skills. CCPT emphasizes the importance of an accepting, empathetic, and non-directive relationship between the therapist and child. In CCPT, the child leads the play, while the therapist provides unconditional positive regard and validation. This approach empowers children to explore their thoughts, build self-esteem, and develop emotional resilience.
Filial Therapy: Parent-Child Play Therapy
In the 1960s, Bernard Guerney, Ph.D., introduced Filial Therapy, which adapts CCPT by involving parents as active participants in their child’s therapy. Parents are trained to conduct play sessions at home, using child-centered techniques to strengthen the parent-child bond and support emotional healing. This approach empowers parents to become the primary agents of change in their child’s emotional and behavioral development.
Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)
Developed by Dr. Sheila Eyberg in the 1970s, PCIT is an evidence-based approach that combines play therapy with behavior management. It focuses on improving the quality of the parent-child relationship and addressing challenging behaviors. PCIT involves two phases: Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) and Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI). During CDI, parents strengthen the bond with their child through praise and play. During PDI, parents learn effective discipline strategies. The therapy includes live coaching, where a therapist observes interactions and provides real-time feedback.
Floortime
Floortime, introduced by Dr. Stanley Greenspan in the 1980s, is an intervention designed for children with developmental challenges like autism spectrum disorder (ASD). It focuses on fostering emotional and social development through child-led play. The name "Floortime" reflects the idea of physically and emotionally entering the child’s world by engaging in play. Key principles include following the child’s lead, engaging at their developmental level, and challenging them to expand their growth.
As you can see, these approaches have historically required therapist guidance. Not everyone can afford therapy, so you may want to give these concepts a try on your own.
DIY Play Therapy at Home
You can use child-centered play therapy and Floortime techniques to engage your child in DIY play therapy, strengthening your bond and addressing their unique needs. This approach not only fosters connection but also encourages positive behavior.
Benefits of DIY Floortime Play Therapy
Using non-directive play therapy can benefit children with a range of challenges, including ASD, ADHD, anxiety, and developmental delays. For parents, engaging in these techniques helps:
Strengthen the bond with your child by building trust and emotional connection.
Support emotional regulation, creating a safe space for your child to express feelings.
Foster communication and social skills through back-and-forth interactions.
Empower you as a parent, enabling you to be an active participant in your child’s emotional journey.
Step-by-Step Guide to DIY Floortime
Here’s how you can use child-centered play therapy techniques at home. First of all, ensure that you have 20-30 minutes of time set aside daily for attuning to your child. That means turn your phone off for that length of time and stay child-centered.
Create a distraction-free environment, turning off screens and minimizing background noise.
Be patient and flexible, recognizing that progress may take time and celebrating small victories.
Step 1: Follow Your Child’s Lead
The first principle of non-directive play is to let your child take charge of the play. Observe their interests and join in without directing or correcting them. For example:
If your child is lining up cars, join them by adding a car to the line without suggesting a race.
If they’re spinning in circles, join in and spin with them.
If they’re stacking blocks, mimic their actions and add to the tower.
Following their lead shows that you value their interests, which fosters trust and emotional attunement.
Step 2: Enter Their World Through Play
Once you’ve joined your child’s activity, engage them at their emotional and developmental level. For example:
If your child loves dinosaurs, pretend to be a dinosaur and roar with them.
If they’re stacking blocks, add a block to their tower.
If they’re playing with dolls, join in as a character in their story.
The goal is to "speak their language" and create an emotional connection through play.
There are many benefits to Non Directive Play:
Emotional Attunement and Its Role in Parent-Child Dynamics
Emotional attunement is the ability to tune into your child’s emotional state and respond in a validating way. This connection fosters trust and strengthens the parent-child bond, which is essential for emotional development. When children feel emotionally attuned to their parents, they develop a natural desire to please them, fostering cooperation and respect.
Improvements in Behavior and Respect
When parents respond to their child with empathy and curiosity, it creates a nurturing environment where cooperation and mutual respect thrive. Emotional attunement helps transform discipline into a collaborative effort, reducing struggles and enhancing the parent-child relationship.
When to Seek Support from a Play Therapist
While DIY play therapy can be effective, parents may have blind spots or revert to old habits that undermine their goals. In such cases, working with a licensed parenting therapist can be beneficial. A therapist can help guide you in providing child-centered therapy at home, offering expert feedback and support to strengthen your approach.
The Parent-Child Connection at the Heart of Play Therapy
While some may believe play therapy is best conducted by a therapist, the most powerful therapeutic tool is the parent-child connection. Children thrive when they feel deeply connected to their parent. While therapists can offer valuable guidance, the parent’s involvement is crucial for emotional growth and healing.
How an Online Parenting Therapist Can Help
An online parenting therapist can support parents learning to implement child-centered play therapy. The therapist can observe play sessions via video, and have the ability to provide real-time feedback and strategies. While observing, the therapist remains in the background, empowering the parent to take the lead while receiving guidance to deepen emotional attunement, improve communication, and address challenging behaviors. The session can be divided into observation and feedback (to parent alone) portions of the session.
Conclusion
DIY play therapy using child-centered techniques can significantly enhance the bond between you and your child. By following your child’s lead and trusting in their ability to heal through play, you can create a nurturing environment where they feel seen, understood, and empowered to grow. The most important ingredient in this process is YOU—your presence, patience, and love will make all the difference. So, get down on the floor with your child, embrace the joy of connection, and embark on this journey of discovery and growth together.
And… if you want the support of a skilled parenting therapist along the way, I am here for you.
Hi! I’m Julie and I’m a Licensed Therapist in California who specializes in relationships, family therapy, and child/adolescent therapy.
Call today to schedule your free consultation!
925-289-8411
